The Demented wish game

[Damasca Ramza]

Granted, but you're now in Jail for murder.

I wish I had a never ending supply of free food!

Granted but it's health food.

I wish school didn't suck.

[Ultimarad]

Granted, but then you get freaked out at how nice everybody is.

I wish I could get on the internet whenever I wanted.

[Dan]

You can, but you have dial-up.

I wish I didn't have to mow the lawn.

[Damasca Ramza]

You can, but you have dial-up.

I wish I didn't have to mow the lawn.

Granted, it turns into a tentacle monster and rapes every girl within 20 metres.

I wish I could be home alone this weekend.

[Pokota]

Granted; You are now that kid from "Home Alone"

I wish I had glasses like Tedd's form El Goonish Shive, as demonstrated here, only with that unwanted feature still available (heh).

[Dan]

You don't have to be sick, but you have to be tired.

I wish I could get the 400+MB of files I lost due to a VERY mandatory reformatting of my computer.

[Jlyons]

I wish I could get the 400+MB of files I lost due to a VERY mandatory reformatting of my computer.

Granted, but your PC randomly reformats everything else on your computer as a result.

I wish my body would feel tired before midnight.

[Damasca Ramza]

I wish I could get the 400+MB of files I lost due to a VERY mandatory reformatting of my computer.

Granted, but your PC randomly reformats everything else on your computer as a result.

I wish my body would feel tired before midnight.

Granted, you fall asleep at 5pm.

I wish that there was no such thing as Rap or Hiphop.

[Dan]

Same here......

Anyway, they're gone, but then pop music overflows and takes over their place.

I wish food didn't cost so much.

[Jlyons]

I wish food didn't cost so much.

Granted. Food is now free. However, this means farmers stop selling food, meaning the only ones who have food are the farmers, who raise it only for themselves. Three billion people die from starvation within 10 days. Farmers become kings, and food becomes the new world currency.

M. Night Shamalan: You just solved the world's soaring gas prices? What a twist!

I wish money could grow on trees. (Have fun with this one. )

[Dan]

Money grows on trees, but it has no value. Plus its too heavy to even carry.

I wish I lived near a pool.

[SparDanger]

You live so close to the pool, that when you walk out to get the mail, you fall in it.

I wish I hadn't revived this thread.

[Damasca Ramza]

The topic suffers various fates worse then death at the hands of banned members.

I wish that some movies never get sequels.

[Pokota]

Only Prequels ever get made anymore.

I wish someone would do the obvious corruption of "I wish for an English adaptation of Futagohime"

[Ultimarad]

Granted, but I backspaced it before clicking "submit".

I wish people would stop complaining about everything.